Chicken Diction

Change of location...

2008-07-23T18:32:00.003-07:00

Hey Chicken Diction fans, I have moved to Wordpress for indiscernible reasons, and soon enough I will have new posts up there to make it even more interesting. To see it, follow this link:

www.chickendiction.wordpress.com

See you there.

matthew

People.

2008-07-19T18:36:00.003-07:00

Tshilo, Mari, Julito, in the Plaza de las Armas.

This picture is specially chosen for my mother. She loves it when I make this face.

Tshilo.

Mari.

Julito.

Doors and Windows - Peru.

2008-07-15T22:05:00.005-07:00

StarPeru flight into Cusco.

Qoricancha. In Cusco.
Incan walls with Spanish cathedral built on top.

Qoricancha.

Qoricancha.

Sacsayhuaman ruins. Above Cusco.

Sacsayhuaman ruins.

Cusco at night...

2008-07-15T21:54:00.003-07:00

So I got back from over two weeks in Peru on Sunday. It was some sort of a crazy whirlwind trip to get back that included a 22-hour bus ride, four airplanes, a night in Los Angeles, sleeping on an airport floor, and a gnarly cold that felt like my throat was about to melt right out of my neck. But now I am back and mostly rested and getting over the cold. This is the first installment of pics from the trip. We spent pretty much all of our time in and around the town of Cusco (elev. 3,300 meters) which was a fabulous little mostly adobe construction town that is a bit overrun by tourists like me, but yet, not like me. Anywhoo, here are some shots at night from the Plaza de Armas.

Pictureless Peru update.

2008-07-07T17:21:00.003-07:00

So here we are in Cusco, a quaint little (not so little anymore I suppose) town after hiked five days to Machu Picchu. Here is the update:

Camera broke on the third day of hiking, just in time to have captured the amazing views of Apu Salkantay, the mountain we were beneath at 4,600 meters, and to not capture anything of Machu Picchu with our camera.

Shit evidently does happen.

Machu Picchu while brilliant and amazing is sinking under the weight of tourists like ourselves. There were too many people me thinks to fully enjoy it as people should. I also came down with a bum knee which made it more difficult to appreciate, but we did go up to Wayna Picchu which was spectacular.

I am now walking around Cusco with a cane looking like a mix between Charlie Chaplin and some old man. The knee is taped and I am sucking down ibruprofen regularly. But it seems to be getting better.

No one has gotten really sick. Amazing.

Our hiking group, while still a tourist group, was pretty much fantastic. Four Argentinians, two Spaniards from Basque country, a Canadian, Mari, brother Tshilo, friend Julito, and me. Near permanent laughter and fun ensued. More will probably ensue tonight.

Alpaca is tasty.

That´s all for now. What pictures we have will soon follow.

Peru.

2008-06-27T00:55:00.006-07:00

Today I leave for Peru, so who knows what will become of this chicken blog for the next two weeks. So here are some pics from the last time I was in Peru for last xmas. Be well and for those of you in the Sonoran Desert enjoy the sweet smell of creosote and the feel of the monsoons in the air.

Huaraz.

The Way Inn. View from our room.

Me and the dog, Mumbles, at the Way Inn with some lovely mtns in the background.

Sunset in Chaclacayo.

Xmas with our chullos.

Pollo in the market.

Chickens in the News! #9

2008-06-26T08:07:00.001-07:00

Chickens are in! Here is one strutting its stuff on the Sao Paulo fashion show runway.

Lately it's been...

2008-06-23T14:28:00.005-07:00

...hotter than the inside of a live chicken!© And for those of you who didn't believe that this fantabulous saying would ever make it's way into the jargon of pop culture, here is verifiable proof that not only has this saying become ever-so-popular, but that it has spread out of the chicken mecca of Tucson, AZ all the way across the state line to California. That's right, if this trend was a crime, it would now be federal. My friend and co-worker from Los Angeles, California sent me this picture just this morning, as she witnessed temperatures in Pasadena at 6pm on Saturday rise exactly two degrees hotter than the inside of a live chicken!© Thanks to all those committed Chicken Diction aficionados out in the world.

First ascent.

2008-06-18T09:23:00.002-07:00

Confessional.

2008-06-16T13:11:00.001-07:00

Hi, my name is Matthew. And I'm addicted to my climbing wall.

Climbing wall - Part 5.

2008-06-16T11:49:00.008-07:00

Sunday was nearly as hot as Saturday. Made even hotter by the fact that we now have all the panels on the bouldering wall, and all we have left is to finish screwing the pieces in fully, fill three small gaps with plywood, and attach some holds. It is far sturdier than I could have hoped for and the Metolius grit paint that I paid too much for turned out to be a worth while expenditure as it adds a level of texture that makes this so much more than a wooden wall.

Let's go climbing.

Prepping to hoist the highest of all panels.

Grrr.

Safe and secure.

Let the race to the finish begin...

. . . . .

Megan and David putting the finishing touches on a panel.

At some point in the day, we announced that David deserved the title of "one who saved the weekend!" Megan and I would have had some trouble getting those panels up all by our lonesome selves. And one or both of us just might have died in the process. So thanks David!

Megan contemplates the distance to the top after we placed the final panel and the light that would envelop her when she reaches the top right corner...

The view from the ground.

Very first tomatoe!

2008-06-14T23:02:00.003-07:00

Climbing wall - Part 4.

2008-06-14T22:18:00.007-07:00

A lot happened today - way more than can be told here. These are the important highlights:

- We started at 8am.
- There were donuts.
- We ended at 8pm.
- We realized we worked long and hard for 12 hours straight with little rest.
- There were veggie burritos.
- There was a high temperature of 107 degrees in Tucson today.
- That's pretty damn hot.
- The climbing wall is all framed up and ready for the plywood.
- The plywood is all cut, primed, and painted, and ready for the wall.
- Tomorrow it is going to be hotter than today in all likelihood.

Yeah, nothing like toe-nailing screws in. Over and over and over.

And over.

Honestly, this is trick photography. Chris is strong, but not like this picture would lead you to believe.

Jonathan with his famous behind the back drill move.

My friend David showed up at our door last night and we somehow conned him into working long hours in the sun all day today. He says he looks like Popeye here. "I'yam what I'yam!"

A bit of a siesta...

Proud David keep on rolling.

Jonathan dreams of a climbing wall.

Final supports for the wall.

Chris got artsy at some point. Or the sun got to him.

Still artsy. Nice moon.

Yeah, shortly after this the pizza came and we were done for the day.
Oh so done.

Climbing wall - Part 3.

2008-06-13T23:43:00.001-07:00

No better way to spend a Friday night than piecing together the supports for a backyard climbing wall. The only thing that might be better was the 10 o'clock showing of the mid-season finale of (warning! geek alert) Battlestar Galactica. Oh yeah. So in honor of the supreme comfort we all feel with our over abundance of love for this scifi drama that rules far too many of our conversations for anyone to think that we are even remotely normal, here are some eery-scifi-esqe-climbing-wall-at-night-pics that help to detail the progress we made last night.

Chickens have a special place in their chicken hearts for common people.

2008-06-11T08:58:00.002-07:00

There are really no words that can express how happy I was to have stumbled upon this.

Things chickens should not be used for: Part 1.

2008-06-10T16:39:00.003-07:00

Connecticut police find roasting chicken stuffed with pipe bomb on roadside, detonate it

SIMSBURY, Conn. (AP) -- Authorities in Connecticut are wondering who stuffed a raw roasting chicken with a pipe bomb and left it on a roadside.

Simsbury police Capt. Matthew Catania says a motorist noticed the chicken Friday morning. He says the bomb was large enough to harm a person if it went off.

The road was closed while the Hartford Police Department's bomb squad came and blew up the chicken.

Nobody was injured. No arrests had been made Monday night.

Because I'm feeling saucy today...

2008-06-10T16:05:00.003-07:00

My public service announcement for the day.

Flight of the Conchords is my new favorite show ever.

2008-06-10T15:56:00.004-07:00

I am so not the first person to post this video from Flight of the Conchords, but I can't help it. They're that good...(oh, if any of my cousins are looking at this with their kids, I have a sneaking suspicion that you will want to provide whatever your level of censorship you desire for the rather creative lyrics.)

Riley, the Urban Farmer.

2008-06-09T13:21:00.001-07:00

(Photo courtesy our friend Amy.)

Climbing Wall - Part 2.1.

2008-06-08T17:36:00.003-07:00

This post is specifically for my dad and my friend Arthur who I am sure have a keen interest in the angles that were needed in order to make this a sturdy, and worthy structure. I now know my way around a framing square more than I ever thought I would, but if you want an explanation for how all of this came about, I will need more time than just this blog to explain it all...

Climbing Wall - Part 2.

2008-06-08T17:13:00.004-07:00

Well this weekend was all about the climbing wall. Chris, Megan, and I made some serious progress, and learned (or simply remembered) a few things about geometry in the process. I think the pictures speak for themselves. Somehow we managed to get them all in a line, which was no small task. I can't wait to climb on this!

Chicken fun fact you weren't necessarily thinking about.

2008-06-06T11:45:00.005-07:00

It turns out that chickens take issue with road runners. At least my chickens do. So this morning while I was watering my soon-to-be-not-so-green-but- very-tasty-tomatoes all five of the chickens were making some kind of ruckus, and when I looked up there was a road runner not 10 feet from me. It was probably going after the very healthy community of lizards that scuttle around the premises in the early morning sun, as roadrunners are rather carnivorous. Anyways road runners easily make it onto my top ten most favorite list of birds, and it was pretty fantabuloso to see one so close and mostly calm. Chickens naturally are also on my top ten list, even if they do get all finicky and skittish around their more agile and fearless distant cousin. The hens finally quieted down after the road runner had shuffled off with some sort of tasty lizard breakfast burrito.

Once a year.

2008-05-29T00:57:00.003-07:00

The other morning I woke to this cactus exploding with flowers. It is some kind of night blooming sirus but I have no idea which. What I do know is that once a year this cactus blooms with immense style and grace ...

Climbing Wall - Part 1.

2008-05-28T22:45:00.003-07:00

Ever since I bought this house nearly two years ago, we (friends, brother, me, etc) have talked about putting a bouldering wall out back and well, it wasn't until our ever thoughtful and visionary president decided to boost the economy through his stimulus plan that I decided it was the right time to stimulate ourselves through the construction of a home climbing wall. So, finally we began, after long hours of planning, imagining, and mostly talking about how amazing it will be. If all goes according to plan, it will be 16 feet wide by 12 feet tall with two 8 foot sections at different overhanging angles, painted gray with the appropriate levels of texture to make it look slightly less woody, with all sorts of manufactured holds as decoration like the two foot long teal rail, all sorts of crimpy painful holds, the the brain like tan bulge, and the homemade walnut beauty that my cousin Eric crafted with a block of wood and a grinder in his driveway.

Step one: donuts, coffee and banter.

Step two: getting the six-inch lizard out of our post hole.

Step three: cementing 16 foot 4x4 posts in a straight line perfectly vertical and the exact distance we will eventually need for two differently angled 8 foot sections.

Step four: more banter.

Step five: admiration.

A thought for Tuesday...

2008-05-27T12:26:00.001-07:00

Cheers to Jonathan for sending this my way...

Outdoor shower...

2008-05-26T13:31:00.005-07:00

Just in time for the 100 degree temps the outdoor shower is completed with lots of help from all sorts of people. Chris helped cement posts, my dad showed up to work on the copper plumbing with me, mom, Chris, and Megan stained the slats at various times. My neighbor of course thinks I am crazy but the shower is quite possibly the best thing we have done to the backyard so far... And for those of you who are wondering what in the world I am thinking, well here are the three main reasons we wanted an outdoor shower:

1. Water goes into the ground, and helps to recharge the terribly depleted aquifer. (We only use biodegradable soap outside and hair washing will take place inside.)
2. Water from our outside spigot is often cooler (after the initial blast of superheated water lava) than water that is piped into the house, which when low temps in the summer rarely get below 80 degrees at night, the desire for cold showers nears obsessive.
3. Seriously, there is nothing better than a refreshing shower under the stars or in the morning sun as birds are singing.

Here is some evidence.

Vacancy.

Come on in!

Notice the beautifully stained wood and the wonderfully welded copper piping - thanks to everyone who helped! Also the bench to the right. Don't worry, it's sanded very smooth.

Aerial photography.

Hot town summer in the city.

2008-05-21T14:05:00.003-07:00

As temps heat up, so do my chickens....

No excuses.

2008-05-19T16:48:00.006-07:00

I am not going to bother telling people why I have been blogless for months on end. Too much time has passed already. But even I have grown tired of looking at the last post. So while I have nothing very exciting to say, here are few things:

1. Today was our first over 100 degree day for the season of scorchingness. 102 to be exact.
2. Just in the nick of time, with the help Chris and Megan, we finished the outdoor shower yesterday. (eventually there will be pics up...)
3. Now we can start on the outdoor bouldering wall.
4. Cracker is broody and not laying eggs for sometime. The rest are hot and laying eggs.
5. That's all for now.

Chickens (not technically) in the News! #8

2008-03-17T14:16:00.006-07:00

My good friend Johanna lives in Kabul, Afghanistan and sent me these pictures of a cockfight on the streets of Babur. According to her, the roosters don't get hurt, but instead win when the other chicken puts its head down. While I can't speak for all cockfighting in Afghanistan, I am positive that Johanna would not have sent me photos of a bloody all out cockfighting conspiracy in underground Babur. Mostly, you should enjoy the fabulous colors of the chickens. And for those of you interested in learning more about the exciting times and never-mentioned-in-the-media-true-to- life-and-often-very-normal-but-beatiful goings on of Kabul, I suggest you have a look at Johanna's blog. She is a wonderful photographer and amazing storyteller. I think you'll enjoy it.

NOT a chicken.

2008-03-13T21:40:00.001-07:00

...But possibly a short life. Check out Dean Potter.

Check THIS out!

2008-03-13T14:26:00.002-07:00

My new favorite blog is called "Unearthed Adventures" by my two friends Kristin and Debbie. Their love for dirty, inanimate, and discarded objects rivals my obsession with my backyard and chickens (which is saying a whole lot more than you think - last night I played ultimate frisbee with a chicken hat on my head for 3.5 hours. Yes, that's right I telling you here and now, I had my head up a chicken's ass. More on this soon.) Anyways, check out their stories of reviving art that never knew it could be art, getting by on thrift shop purchases no one wanted, and racy tales of curbside porn...

Sonoran Desert Museum

2008-03-13T11:22:00.001-07:00

This was to be a much longer post, but then my computer got grumpy and slow, like me in the morning, so this is what I got for now. This is from Mari and my visit to the Desert Museum just on the other side of the Tucson Mountains on Sunday morning. The desert was in full bloom and we had ice cream as we dreamt about all the wildflowers we would plant in the fall. That is, until church got out, people woke up, and all the hordes of fanny pack wearing, khaki-clad, tourists showed up, so we left.

So say my chickens too...

2008-03-11T13:50:00.009-07:00

"Anarchism is not a romantic fable but the hardheaded realization, based on five thousand years of experience, that we cannot entrust the management of our lives to kings, priests, politicians, generals, and county commissioners."
- Ed Abbey

(For more Abbey quotes you can go to this nifty webpage.)

Chickens in the News! #7

2008-03-05T15:53:00.006-07:00

I have a 30ft catapult filled with chicken droppings - and I'm not afraid to use it

Will Pavia
March 5, 2008
From The Times
The headquarters of Joe Weston-Webb’s portable flooring empire is protected by security fencing, motion-sensor lights and CCTV cameras.
None of these conventional measures has deterred arsonists, however, and in desperation, Mr Weston-Webb has now fortified his defences with less orthodox technology left over from his time as a travelling showman.
A 30ft Roman catapult, loaded with chicken droppings from a nearby farm is primed each evening. And a cannon, which Mr Weston-Webb once used to shoot his wife across the River Avon, will fire a railway sleeper if triggered by an intruder.
Mr Weston-Webb was yesterday erecting a sign outside his business, which stands at the end of a farm track in the lower valley of the River Soar in Nottinghamshire – a place known locally as Soar Bottom. It reads: “Warning: These premises are protected by smart-poo and railway sleeper projectiles.” (Read more...)

Chicken education for you.

2008-03-05T11:31:00.001-07:00

The Inside Coop #3

2008-03-03T22:00:00.007-07:00

Tucson's most nearly famous hens are in full egg laying production these days. The longer days and warmer weather has does wonders for their spirits. You can even see how they change from the drab, slightly colder weather black and white to brighter, sunny and warm colors.

Cracker in profile. This is her best side - trust me, I've watched her lay an egg.

Fans, this is a true Chicken Diction moment. This is where it all begins.

One of the Araucanas - your guess is as good as mine really.

Here they are after a hard day's work.

Looking for someone to support?

2008-03-03T12:37:00.005-07:00

Me and my chickens heart Cynthia McKinney... (the interviewer, not so much).

Spring!

2008-03-02T20:58:00.006-07:00

I think that about says it all.

How did you use your extra day?

2008-02-29T13:32:00.006-07:00

Well it's the day that mostly does not exist. At least 75% of the time. I hope you used it well and didn't squander it like all the rest of your days with so much laziness and sloth. I know I didn't. In fact I just got back from stuffing myself at my favorite local Mexican restaurant, El Minuto, with more abandon than usual simply because it was an extra, special day. And now I have updated Chicken Diction. (Whew.) All very important things. Don't you think that we should all be paid overtime for working an extra day this year? Time and a half is definitely our due, I say. Tonight I think I will cut my hair. Wow. What would I have ever done without an extra day like this. This is your day to make a difference. Don't frack it up. That's right, I'm addicted to Battlestar Galactica, and I'm not afraid to say it. And I'll use my extra day however I please.

Happy Leap Year Day from an old The Who poster!

Chickens in the News! #6

2008-02-22T11:15:00.006-07:00

Consider this your first Public Service Announcement mixed with the News!....

Beware people in chicken mascot suits! One minute they will be protesting alongside PETA in Manila, Philippines against some horrible abuse of the International Declaration of Poultry Rights...

...and the next they will biting the heads of your children! You never know what will come over someone dressed in a giant chicken suit. Don't let this happen to you or someone you love.

This has been a message from your local Chicken Diction broadcasting network. You now may return to your regular scheduled programming.

The Inside Coop #2

2008-02-15T11:37:00.003-07:00

Second only the fact that I am now into the triple digits of blog posting, is what took place on Wednesday: ALL FIVE HENS laid eggs! And if that wasn't fantabulous enough, I made the startling discovery that one of the Araucanas is masquerading as a Buff Orpington by laying not green, but beige colored eggs. That's right, we have a South-American-Cracker-wannabe-Araucana-in-drag chicken in the hen house. While this may have skewed the daily egg count in terms of which delegates are assigned to which variety of chickens, I think the most important lesson that is to be learned in this week's edition of The Inside Coop, is that chickens are indeed very talented and crafty little beings. Yeah. There are many many layers that make up a chicken, especially in this Menlo Park backyard of Tucson, Arizona.

Please join me next week for the third installment of The Inside Coop (brought to you by Chicken Diction Inc. and created by our good friend and neighbor, Caryn).

BIG NEWS.

2008-02-14T11:14:00.006-07:00

This is the 100th post on Chicken Diction and that is BIG NEWS. Big like this...

So it calls for some BIG celebration. Like this...

For the record.

2008-02-13T10:41:00.006-07:00

Occasionally I find the need to stray from the not-so-subtle object of this blog and address matters of near equal importance to the goings-on of my backyard brood of hens. So for all you folks out there who are caught up in the fantasy world of dynasty-love, regurgitated go-get-'em politics, or the cult of personality, here you go. Being better than Bush does not mean they are better than each other.

Ode to Quoits.

2008-02-12T22:31:00.004-07:00

For those lost souls out there who don't know what quoits (pronounced quaits) are, here is a quick tutorial of this wondrous sport. It's similar to horseshoes but a shorter distance (21 feet to be exact), shorter pegs, and instead of the open horseshoe shape it is a brass doughnut shape thus making "ringers" that much more difficult and therefore emotional. For more detail than you would ever want and some slightly awkward pictures of mostly overweight, middle-aged, white men, see the website for the United States Quoiting Association (really). You can even purchase your own set there. Here is evidence of the hours of enjoyment one can have playing quoits: we had to set out outdoor lighting to keep playing after dark! My set did not in fact come from the USQA website, but but from our dear friend Phil in Virginia, who is currently up for sainthood in our household due to his enormous generosity and strength of character for parting ways with this most beauteous set of quoits. Our dear friend Andrew also deserves a round of well wishes and prayers due to his self-sacrificing nature and allowing me to take this particular set when offered by Phil since as he said, "they make them right across the street from my house in Lancaster, Pennsylvania." That's right folks, this is me getting back to my Mennonite heritage and my only form of proselytizing - encouraging others to play this ever versital game of skill and technique, while most likely drinking beer.

Chickens in the News! #5

2008-02-12T11:09:00.001-07:00

This is one of the best chicken stories I have ever come across. I wish I had thought of this when I was still in school...

85 hens close Phila. high school

By Sam Woods and Robert Moran
INQUIRER STAFF WRITERS

Who let the birds out?
A fowl prank closed a Philadelphia high school today, canceling classes for 3,600 students.
Eighty-five "full-blown live chickens" - identified later today as Rhode Island Reds - were discovered roaming the halls of Northeast Philadelphia High School this morning as faculty arrived before dawn.
"They've created quite a mess," said Fernando Gallard, spokesman for the school district. "It's going to take us at least a day to clean up."
The flock was let into the school on Cottman Avenue over the weekend. (Read more...)

News of a planting.

2008-02-10T20:20:00.001-07:00

We got all excited and busy today, mixed up some compost with the soil, dug some little trenches and dropped in some seeds. Now some of you might say that February 10 is pretty early to be putting seeds in the ground. And you have every right to say that. But we still did it and I can't wait to see everything grow. Here is the list of what we planted and seeded today in no particular order...

Chives
Green Zebra Tomatoes
Big Red Cherry Tomats
Bull nose bell peppers
Miniature yellow bell peppers
Lettuce Mix
Arugula
Kale
Silverbeet (Chard)
Radishes
Purple Basil
Thai Basil
Sweet Basil (there is never enough basil)
Jalepeno peppers
Black Hungarian peppers
Cantelope (Amish melon)
Yellow Hopi Watermelon (actually a few days ago)
Rocoto hot peppers (from Peru)
Egg plant
Mint
Spearmint
Double yield Cucumbers
Empress Green Beans

I also spread a ton of grass seed I had collected from hiking and other random places in the back behind my fence along with some wildflowers and other stuff just to see if it will grow or not.

Then we watered in all the seeds we planted and I sat there wishing I could see it pop up then and there. The tomatoes, peppers and eggplant are only seeded and will have to be transplanted in a few weeks or more. You should all come over in a couple months and I will cook you some food from the backyard!

Saturday in the backyard.

2008-02-09T19:00:00.001-07:00

Today was amazingly beautiful outside here in Tucson and I was able to catch the last rays of the afternoon in the backyard with a book. It was fabulous after working most of the day inside. Today when I collected the eggs (three of them!) this Araucana egg had little balls of what seem to be calcium deposits. They felt very hard to the touch but when I washed it, they all came off individually. I have never seen anything like this. Have a look...

Beautiful flowers growing in the basins.

We have broccoli going crazy right now. It is some of the sweetest broccoli I have ever tasted straight off the stalk. The carrots have amazing flavor as well. Tomorrow we will seed as much as we can for the spring/summer gardens.

The Inside Coop #1

2008-02-05T20:07:00.000-07:00

Let us begin a new chapter in the Chicken Diction library of knowledge so that we may further educate all the faithful readers of this holy book of fowlish lore...The Inside Coop. After hearing the cries of the local masses I am giving you what all of you want: a probably-weekly but definitely-regular update of the goings-on of life in the near famous backyard of Menlo Park.

1. The chickens have survived the freezes quite well, however Cracker decided to go on a very long sabbatical from egg laying. Fortunately she has come round as of today.

2. One of the Araucanas got loose on Sunday, which was not anywhere near as exciting as one would have expected or even hoped for as he was writing a blog about such an event. It appears that the chicken aviary has become quite a fulfilling home for the five feathered friends in the back, as she hustled right back in as soon as I could manage to open the door and chase her in.

3. Most exciting was what I found in the chicken house today...

...Granted, we hadn't checked for two and a half days.

Chickens in the News! #4

2008-02-05T10:39:00.001-07:00

If only our choices were as fun as this...

Oh Groundhog Day...

2008-02-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday!

2008-02-01T16:47:00.001-07:00

Chickens in the News! #3

2008-01-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure exactly how this is news, but it was in the news.

Blessed chick: Hen that lays green eggs
Associated Press
Wednesday, January,30 2008 (Mexico city):

Ordinary-looking hen with brown feathers has become a celebrity in Cuautitlan, a small village north of Mexico City, because every day she lays an egg with a green shell.

At first glance, Rabanita looks no different from the other chickens in the yard.

"Since the December 5 she has been laying green eggs," said her owner, Elvira Romero.

Romero is a housewife who got the hen as part of a government aid package to help villagers.

"Well, my children say 'Oh Mummy, God looks favourably on you so that you were given as a prize a chicken that lays green eggs'," said Romero with a smile.

So far, there is no explanation for the colour of the eggs.

Romero says that Rabanita does not have a special diet different from the rest of the chickens, just the usual corn, tortillas and chicken feed.

Scientists believe that shell colour - which does not affect the colour or flavour of the yolk or white - is determined by the genes, and say blue or green shells are frequently found in the Araucana chicken strain.

Green egg layers attract a premium in some parts of South America, where poultry breeders aim to produce chickens, which lay nothing else.

Honestly, this is ridiculous. As if this is some sort of new discovery...Reuters obviously is not reading Chicken Diction!

Oh Golden Lanes oh!

2008-01-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

Life isn't all about chickens, so we celebrated this past rainy Sunday evening as all rainy Sunday evenings should be celebrated: we went BOWLING. And we dressed up. Because if you can't bowl well, at least you can look good. And drink beer.

Tell us what your gonna do Debbie...

Freja selects a ball.

Riley "Stetson" Merline and Chris "Five-O" Lowen.

Changing bowling names is sometimes more fun than actually bowling.

We were just glad Marie made it out from the black hole of James E. Rodgers Law School.

It's hard to look this good.

Megan "I am sporty" Bartel.

Riley demonstrates his style and skills.

Rock star bowling.

Dear Golden Lanes, we'll see you again soon.

Chickens in the News! #2

2008-01-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

For this week's barely mid-week installment of Chickens in the News! we are going on a quick four-stop tour around the world to see the different lives (and death) that chickens have. It is a sobering life that chickens have throughout the world. One day my chickens will thank me for the life of luxury they lead. One day.

First stop: Jammu, where there is evidently a housing shortage for chickens.

Here we have some recently dead chickens in Kolkata, India.

Naked bathing chickens in Jakarta, and a nearby voyeur.

And finally, amorous roosters in Allahabad, India.

"The sweet sounds of New Zealand sheep," by Chris Lowen.

2008-01-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

My brother is a man of many talents, some seen, and some hidden below layers of skin and bones. Here, while on a recent trip down under, he unmasks his innate talent of impersonations, by mimicking the confused sheep of New Zealand. For those long time readers of Chicken Diction, you will remember his partner in crime and life, Megan and her natural abilities in the area of animal sounds as well. This time it was the lonesome cry of the North American buffalo. If you haven't witnessed her great display of animal mimicry, you should really see both the video of Chris below, and Megan's together, so here is the link. May you all enjoy the wonderful sounds of nature!

Chickens in the News! #1

2008-01-15T13:16:00.001-07:00

Welcome to a new mid-week Chicken Diction series, called "Chickens in the News!" This will be a weekly post of a picture, story, news item, or other interesting happening, all involving chickens in some way or another. As our chickens get older, and therefore wiser it has become apparent that they are that much more world-savvy and I believe it is important to more fully represent their worldliness by including news about chickens around the world, in your backyard and mine.

For the inaugural installment of "Chickens in the News!" we we go to Shainghai, China where chickens are not only very skinny it would seem, but naked, dead, and hanging from a wire. Not all chickens enjoy the luxury of a Tucson backyard paradise, remember that young whippersnapper Chicken Diction aficionados. One of this blog's goals is to expose the harsh realities of the varied and complex lives that chickens have throughout this sometimes cruel world.

(This picture courtesy Reuters.com.
Okay not really - they don't know I have it, I didn't pay for it or ask permission, but I bet they didn't ask permission of that little girl either.)

Thanksgiving and the Desert Museum

2008-01-09T08:41:00.001-07:00

I have been meaning to put up some pictures from when my parents were here in Tucson over Thanksgiving and somehow leaving the country for three weeks keeps one pretty occupied, and since I know that everyone is pretty tired of that Mary Oliver poem staring them in the face I thought a short trip to the not-so-distant-past would be a welcome change. My dad and I spent the weekend laying down flagstone underneath the ramada and then we all ate a huge thanksgiving dinner outside followed by an evening by the chimenea. The next day we went to the nearby Desert Museum to check out the cacti and other desert life. If you haven't ever gone, you should definitely make a trip out there and see what the desert holds...

Me, Mari, and my way hip parents. Seriously, they're awesome.

Mom and me.

"Yes Dad, you look a little funny with that camera case right there."

Aloe.

Sunlight.

Agave shadows.

Mari says hello.

Second Annual Tacky Holiday Sweater Party

2008-01-08T20:03:00.001-07:00

I hope that you are prepared for the best blog entry EVER. Albeit belated, I can assure you that you have never seen anything quite like this (there might be a reason for that). This is the documentation for the Second Annual Tacky Holiday Sweater Party and it is something never before seen in the world of blogging - until next year of course. So feast your eyes on the brilliance of tacky holiday sweaters...

Welcome to our fiesta!

People were very excited to be in attendance.

Behold, the tackiness!

JT and his girlfriend campaigned all night long to be voted the "Best PTA Mom and Dad" and then left before the awards were handed out, so we all booed, gave their present of a stuffed chihuahua that sings "Feliz Navidad" in a bad Mexican accent to someone else, and promptly forgot all the begging and pleading they did in order to get voted for in the first place. Then JT had the tenacity to email me and ask where their prize was. Whatever JT.

Kristin and Debbie. Debbie came in second for "Most Flair".

Uppy and Dave - how cute.

My brother would have won the prize for "most prominent sweater" if there had been a category for that. He sewed the Santa head onto his sweater and it stuck out a good six inches.

Meet Juan...

Juan "Moose Cock" Castro, that is.

Mari and Jonathan.

Wreath-on-a-sweater and Smiles-a-lot.

Lindsey and Kristin.

Claudine won a well deserved "Most Flair" for her home-made xmas tree hat.

Pam was the write in winner of the non-existent category of "Most Drool".

Joe placed a strong third in the category of "Hardest to look at".

Riley and I went head to head for first place in the coveted "Hardest to look at" category. In the end I pulled out the victory.

Guess why.

Happy tacky holidays!

A summer poem in December.

2007-12-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

"The Summer Day," by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean –
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down –
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to all down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Sunday's bounty.

November rain.

2007-11-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I woke up to the sound of water dribbling down the ABS pipe along the house that leads to the cistern. This was a new sound, and as a homeowner (especially early in the morning) new sounds are by definition suspicious. I sat up very startled, and was quickly calming myself, satisfied that everything was going where it was supposed to and indeed making all the right noises according to their little water paths - I had just never heard these things before.

So today, I googled images for "chicken" and "rain" and this snapshot of Don, Jim, Bob, Alva, and Bud is one of the photos I got. Not exactly what I was looking for - I have never met those five hefty, mountain men, but I am sure they had a good time eating the chicken if the rain didn't keep the fire at bay.

I am really writing because I could barely contain my excitement that it is actually raining and the water catchment tank is filling up (slowly as there is really only a light drizzle here and there). This morning I could even turn on the spigot to find free, untainted agua pouring out. This is all very exciting as the cistern has now lost its catchment virginity of sorts. I also saw a little toad between the aloe patch and the cover crop I have planted in the summer beds. I always take it as a good sign that random little creatures live in the yard - unless they are feral cats going after the chickens (there's at least one that I regularly am forced to throw rocks at) or hundreds of swallows making off with free chicken feed (I'm thinking a scarecrow?).

And with the rain, the gutters have not fallen off (though there are a few places I will have to seal up), the tank hasn't fallen over, and the plants in the basins look very content with their new found locations. According to all the weather websites and forecasters, there is a 100% chance of rain for the rest of the day and night, into tomorrow. For anyone who knows anything about Tucson, saying that it will rain with such certainty is nearly unheard of, and tantamount to saying something like Dick Cheney is going to have another heart attack, take his shiny, black helmet off, and beg forgiveness just like he did in Star Wars - don't get our hopes up if it isn't absolutely true.

Well at least it's raining.

Just before the midnight hour.

2007-11-21T18:33:00.001-07:00

In perfect Peruvian form, one of the Araucanas has delivered a last minute blue-green egg just before the big feast of dead birds that takes place tomorrow all across this confused land. It seems that all of my threats of beheading and baking were sufficient for the absolute bare minimum of return on their part. Not knowing which bird it was that laid the egg, I of course cannot risk the sacrifice and all three will therefore survive...

I know you were all dying to know when the first blue-green Araucana egg was laid. So here it is. Behold, the fabled egg of the South! Happy holidays to you all.

Catching Water: A progression

2007-11-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

Day 1: Before we got started. I actually just put the ladders there because it looked too empty.

Day 2: Progress has been made - more is about to take place. This time we actually needed the ladder.

After all sorts of hard work and sweat. No ladder, just wishing for rain...

Tragedy continued.

2007-11-20T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well they identified the young man who was shot and killed near my house. Manuel Fimbres-Moreno was 26. He will always be 26. I did not know Manuel - at least that I know of. But I am terribly saddened by his murder and cannot begin to imagine the pain of his family.

They arrested someone on suspicion of killing him. The kid they arrested is 21. Certainly it is not proven that he is responsible, but undoubtedly prison is in his future given the broken beyond repair system of injustice. For me it is simply a furtherance of a terrible tragedy. But this time, more than ever we will be complicate in what takes place as the tax payer funded "justice" system will do everything possible to ensure that no rehabilitation will ever take place.

Are we now safer that a young man will spend years in prison learning how to be more violent, less feeling, possibly drug addicted, and completely removed from his family? And when he returns to our community (96 percent of all Arizona prisoners do) will he have any better idea how to positively impact the people around him? Or will he be hardened, broken, and lacking any real understanding of what responsibility would actually mean in a situation like this? Will he ever have a chance at anything different than just that? These are questions I ask myself, but are never asked when laws are passed and people punished. Whatever happens to this young man, will we as a community be better for the judgment that is made on his life? I am positive we will not. This makes the tragedy of last Wednesday evening even that more horrendous.

Tucson police identify man who was fatally shot last week...

Catching Water: Day 2

2007-11-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

Day 2 was oh-so-satisfying I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. Even before 5pm the backyard looked totally transformed with the cistern all finished and sealed, and two whole basins lined with rocks, planted, and mulched. Everyone worked fabulously and seemed to enjoy the whole day. Before I knew it, time was up and we had accomplished way more than I had anticipated. Planting native flowers and grasses is so instantly gratifying, especially here in the desert where greenery is sparse and plant life certainly more subtle. (For great help and a wide selection of native plants visit Desert Survivors.)

Because things went so smoothly I have very little in the way of photo documentation during the bulk of the day's work. The work mostly included extending PVC pipe to the spigot, cutting inside ABS pipe to length within the cistern, and ensuring that the basin was deep enough to accommodate overflow from the ABS overflow line. Enough technical details. Here are the photos.

This is Basin 1. It is actually not for the water cistern but will be fed by a gutter system off the shop roof.

Working, digging, planting, supervising on Basin 2 that will receive overflow water from the cistern.

Still working on Basin 2. The river rocks along the edge help to prevent erosion.

There is a lot of standing around happening in this picture, but consider it similar to one of those moments when suddenly there is silence among a large group of people - before, it was really chaotic, but for that moment it seems calm and ordered. Either way, we got heaps done.

Everything is sealed, sawn, and ready to get filled with water - as soon as we take the ladder out.

How Chicken Diction has made your life better!

2007-11-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well the results are in. A little late perhaps, but right in line with all floundering democracies and their voting tendencies. Though you can of course see the results of the poll in the left column, you have no doubt been anticipating the unparalleled, critical analysis of the results by yours truly. So without further ado...

As I suspected and the exit polls clearly indicated, it was a three-way tie between the following ways in which Chicken Diction has made all your lives better:

- I have major chicken envy.
- I am on the frickin' edge of my seat wondering when those Araucanas will lay a blue egg!
- You're a nut job.

There is clearly a theme here between the leading positive impacts of Chicken Diction on your lives. Indeed there is only one clear reason behind these responses being equal in votes - clearly you are all die hard chicken fans, forever rooting for the underchicken(?) to lay a fabled blue egg, to the extent that you read this blog so much you are on the verge of a mental collapse, much like myself. I know, it's difficult to admit, but that is why we ensured that voting remained confidential and free of any tampering, so that you were able to fully express just how beneficial this blog has been to your life.

As an aside, I would like to mention that I am glad no one is stalking me through this blog. Also, I am happy to point out that since it is so obvious that Chicken Diction has a positive impact on peoples' lives, even the poor soul who got lost and inadvertently ended up on this blog must have had a life changing experience.

Wow. I am so relieved that people love this blog. It really serves to entrench my ego in the way that blogs were meant to do. There is nothing more satisfying than writing about oneself and then having people tell you how great you are for it. Thank you Chicken Diction lovers wherever you are. May you continue to find inspiration from my nutty life, shamelessly detailed on this nut job blog!

You've got to dream big.

2007-11-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

I might just have my life figured out. Well, mostly.

There was a time before I lived in Tucson, when I imagined myself clad mostly in faded jeans, cowboy boots, and a straw hat (but not exclusively), driving a beat-up, dusty pickup truck past saguaros and cholla buds under the wide open desert skies with craggy mountains on every horizon. If the memory of my imagination serves, I was a high school teacher at some middle of nowhere rural outpost town, living in a rustic house where I watched the sunsets, read endlessly and learned to play the harmonica on the porch under the warm night air. But I could be making that last part up.

If I'm honest, this dreamy and imagined existence I once had of my then future self, first exploded onto the plain of my not always so grounded mental playing field, one summer evening in middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania. I was working on a 30 acre organic farm with some of the best people ever to stick their fingers in the clay soil along Lost Creek. Visitors abounded that summer, almost as frequently as we spent the nights along the creek, enraptured by the fire, stories, and laughter. At some point during that wetter than usual growing season, punctuated it seemed by more weeds than crops, a friend of a friend showed up with tales of teaching in a far away land called the Southwest, where there was no rain to speak of and road runners were not only cartoons.

It was a point in my life when I needed no help making plans, only deciding which to follow, but somehow the dusty life appealed to my imagination and stuck around in some nebulous form or another. Evidently it has manifested itself, in many ways without my realization, until only the last few days. Here's how.

Clearly I am residing in Tucson, Arizona, though hardly the dusty, rundown, rural mirage I once envisioned, but still the desert nonetheless. And a whole wide range of other similarities to that aforementioned idea of perfection. But the epiphany that has so recently slapped me in the face, thanks to that "friend of a friend" from the creek on the farm in Pennsylvania saying "hello" completely out of the blue, and the wailing of some good ole' fashioned blue grass musicians, is just this: that whatever half-crazed idea of my life I had during that summer of fresh veggie eating, dirty fingernail scrubbing, and organic produce cultivating, I am now right smack dab in the middle of it. Half-crazed or not.

So I'm not a high school teacher (with no plans to be), and though we dread to even say so, Tucson will one day get swallowed by the beast that is Phoenix if we don't run out of water first (fingers sorta crossed I must say) and is therefore NOT rural in the least, I miss too many of the sunsets, and don't read enough at all. BUT, my truck is the Websters Dictionary 217th Edition Honest to Goodness definition of "beat-up", I've got a straw hat that fits me almost as well as the one back on the farm in Pennsylvania though it is less authentic for sure, somehow I am pulling veggies from my old flood plain dirt in the backyard, and that feeling that goes with the old imagined version of me today, is actually how I feel about life right now - which is downright goooood.

AND, to top it all off, about a week ago as the young boys of the Old Crow Medicine Show made sweet sweet bluegrass music, I danced and hopped around in my brand-new-but-used cowboy boots, realizing that I might just have it all figured out. Well almost. I think.

At least I feel oh-so-good. I mean check out these boots! Though my footwear standby is definitely flip flops, everything is better with a good pair of cowboy boots I have now decided.

Local food you should eat.

2007-11-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

For all of you in Tucson and looking for a little incentive to visit a local farmer's market, here is a fabulous little clip that aired on Channel 12 about the Santa Cruz River Farmer's Market about five blocks north of my house and the University Farmer's Market. They are just some of the many gems here in the downtown area of Tucson. Hopefully you can find the chance to make it to one or the other of these places. Oh yeah, Mari and I happen to be on a few of the clips at the Santa Cruz Farmer's Market...

Tragedy.

2007-11-15T09:00:00.001-07:00

Last night an unidentified young man was was shot and killed on the street about four houses down from mine. It happened right after Riley and I left for ultimate frisbee practice. Mari heard at least five shots. No one knows who this person is, nor who shot him, other than he drove away in a white truck. I'm not sure what to say about this other than it is a tragedy. This morning I walked down the street and lit a candle by the blood stains in the road. That is all I can think to do right now. But somewhere, a young man didn't come home last night, and another has blood on his hands. I guess we all do in some way. So please, take a moment, and do something thoughtful, something kind.

"Rage. Rage against the dying of the light." - Dylan Thomas

Catching Water: Day 1

2007-11-12T16:56:00.001-07:00

Day 1 was a huge success with the cistern installed and set in concrete, the piping ready to be finished off next weekend, as well as sealing the lid on. It took us about 5 hours, 10 volunteers, and 20 bags of concrete mix. I am very very happy with the project, all the help, and the new addition to the yard. Though now that I have a cistern in the backyard, it will certainly not rain for months and months. One can hope.

Mari and Jonathan digging out the overflow basin for the cistern.

Riley working on the inflow piping.
(You made Rudy proud!)

See how much Jeremy likes carrying 80 pound bags of concrete?

Catlow prepping the forms for us to pour in the concrete.

Sun is setting and we haven't started mixing concrete yet.

Mixing concrete by hand is oh-so-fun.

We placed the cistern (no longer a culvert) in the cement before we had as much as we needed because it was setting up too quickly. So we hand dumped it from the top of the cistern (trying not to splatter too much), and then Catlow had the exciting job of climbing down via a carabiner-strapped ladder and rock climbing webbing in order to bend over and smooth the surface inside. He's a good sport.

One might say I was "supervising" at this point.

Ta-daa!
To be continued in one week...

Catching Water: Sneak preview.

2007-11-11T09:52:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of two water catchment tank workshops in my backyard. Mostly we will mix cement and set a 7 foot tall, 4 foot diameter metal culvert on its end in the cement. With some pipes mixed in for fun. For a diagram of what we are going to do, look at this older post, and for more information about improving our water resources, local watershed management, all here in Tucson, Watershed Management Group knows a thing or two. Here are the parts, pieces, and place.

Culvert, soon to be cistern.

What 1 ton of cement mix looks like next to 3 inch ABS pipes.

Location, location, location. In this case, right under the newly installed gutters seems to make sense.

Winter gardening and chicken talk.

2007-11-10T18:25:00.000-07:00

Pathways, river rocks, fire rings, and veggies.

Chiles!

Lettuce, spinach, swiss chard, and paths.

"Hey Hayduke, make sure no one's coming will ya?"

"Coast is allll clear Cracker."

"It's hard out there for a hen. Can hardly find time to lay an egg. Hey you Araucanas! Need some inspiration - check this out!"

Barrio Brew Co. - and chickens of course.

2007-11-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

Me and some friends had probably more than enough fun at a new brewery, Barrio Brew Co. this evening and I happened to have a camera along. So here are some photos you may or may not enjoy, that entail our own personal inspiration and imitations of my chickens. You'll probably know which are which, but in case you are easily confused I have added some subtitles to explain the inspiration and imitations...

To the left.

To the right.

Me and Dave - partial.

We were number 78. They're sticklers about numbers.

Uppy after I told her to think of some neuroscience word I currently can't remember. She enjoyed it though.

At some point I told Dave to be serious, but he didn't do that well, so I told him to pretend one of his rats had died. I don't think this is the picture though.

Debbie's failed attempt at seriousness.

Riley thinking he is in GQ magazine. Really.

This is my "fuck the man" pose. This is why revolutions fail - too much cynicism, not enough gruffness.

Uppy doing "chicken".

Dave, definitely doing "chicken".

Look at me. I'm a chicken.

Wait. Debbie is a chicken too.

Don't forget to vote.

2007-11-08T08:43:00.000-07:00

So in case you missed your opportunity on Tuesday to vote for a largely already decided city council, mayor, and two propositions (here in Tucson at least), and for those of you who can't get enough of voting, here is your chance to have your voice heard! Look in the now almost famous "left column" and just below the mocking description of this blog you will find a poll that you can participate in and help answer the question on everyone's mind....How has Chicken Diction made your life better? Polls close next Friday 11/16 @ 6pm Arizona time so don't miss your chance to be apart of democracy and put to use your right to vote.

If you're not absolutely-totally-demoralized- and-angry, then you're certianly not paying attention.

2007-11-07T12:25:00.001-07:00

On the day after Michael Mukasey was approved by the Senate Judiciary Committee for Attorney General (proof that democrats are the same as republicans), I offer you this long diatribe from a TV political pundit - something I promise to do very very little of - because aside from the overly patriotic rhetoric that a few times finds its way into his blasting of the current administration, this is a 10-minute long lashing of all things status-quo at least with regard to presidents on prime-time television that real people in this country watch, and hopefully some ounce of it struck a nerve because we should be fucking ashamed of ourselves. In case you are actually angry after this is over, here is the number for Representative Conyers who is the Chair for the House Judiciary Committee. This is where there is currently an impeachment resolution against Cheney. Conyer's office is 202.225.5126 and the Committee's number is 202.225.3951. It's simple, just call and leave a message demanding an impeachment inquiry against Cheney. It's a good way to blow off steam and be useful all at once.

Chicken trippin'.

2007-11-06T21:28:00.001-07:00

All Souls' Procession

2007-11-05T13:14:00.000-07:00

Every year in Tucson, the All Souls' Procession walks the streets of downtown in a funky, eclectic array of creativity and quirky-ness that really is the epitome of this town. It was last night and a group of about 20 of us walked together to remember the people in Arizona prison's long-term solitary confinement units (as a part of the StopMax Arizona Campaign that I coordinate). The procession culminates with music, floats, and performance art all in order to burn a giant urn with hopes and memories from the year from the people of Tucson. This year they were hoping for 12,000 people. I don't know how many were there, but it was big and fun. Unfortunately I don't have any picks of the amazing floats, masks, or puppets that were everywhere. But here is some of the group that we walked with, and below, is the urn about to go up in flames.

Dia de los Muertos.

2007-11-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

Some beautiful pictures from around the world, in honor of the Day of the Dead, care of Reuters.

(Santiago de Sacatepequez, Guatemala)

Catching Water: Preview.

2007-11-01T19:00:00.001-07:00

In about one week, with the help and guidance of Watershed Management Group, we will be installing a ~540 gallon water cistern at the northeast corner of the house. The purpose is the capture the run-off from the east side of the house during the monsoon seasons (and any other time it might happen to rain, but let's face it, it barely rains ever). Then with the stored water I will be able to water plants, trees, veggies, and keep the chickens thirst satiated. Pseudo-famous water catching local gurus like Brad Lancaster will say that this water is free, but he is wrong. I know. I just spent all day running all over town making numerous purchases for this catchment tank, including the 7 foot long, 4 foot diameter culvert that will be used on its end as a cistern, and it is anything but free. Though that is not to say it is not worth it. I have ogled other peoples' catchment tanks in the neighborhood with salavating lips, and googly-eyes ever since I closed on this house. For some people it is speedy cars, and others fall for sex appeal in passers-by - but for me, it is hot bikes and large catchment tanks that cause me to strain my neck while looking them up and down. I know, but it's hard out there for an urban farmer...

Well to give you all an idea of what we will be installing come next weekend, here is a diagram I shamelessly stole from a local business website that also installs these cisterns. This is pretty much what we will be doing over the course of two Sunday afternoons in November, minus the hard work, sweat equity, and moments of confusion and cursing. Have no fear, I will be sure to post real pictures of the installation process once it takes place. Meanwhile, have sweet sweet dreams of your own water catching fantasies...

Why we are doomed as a species.

2007-10-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

So today there is an article in the New York Times about rich New Yorkers that have bought houses in the woods in Connecticut for weekend getaways, but they are scared out there when it gets dark - seriously! So they spend thousands of dollars to put in security systems, extensive outdoor motion lighting, and god knows what other foolish toys that was originally designed by the military and have now been normalized for its paranoid citizenry.

SO first of all, don't complain about the dark and coyotes and moose when you have spent a million dollars on some luxury cabin in the woods. It's the woods damnit. And the minute you take away any of those beautiful wild unregulated things, it stops being the woods. And secondly, if that is what you want, please for your sake and ours, stay at home on the 50th floor of whatever high-rise you live in, shut your silver spoon choked mouths, and buy some designer purse to put your small decorative dog and taser in while you shop for black turtlenecks and trendy glasses. Leave the wild places for the rest of us, who aren't permanently plugged into an ipod or blow dryer and relish the chaos of nature and the sounds of a world that has never been ours. Nor by the evidence of our treatment of this world, should it ever be.

So sad.

2007-10-24T08:43:00.001-07:00

This picture care of Reuters, taken along the Del Dios Highway somewhere in southern California.

Stories from the über-secret sect of boys' weekend.

2007-10-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

Every year, me and some guy friends get together at a cabin along the Greenbrier River in the mountains of West Virginia. It's always a bunch of beer, games, competition, and unruliness, complicated by sensitive men, who are mostly married, can cook quite well and look good in flannel. The cabin was built by our friend Micheal and many others out of straw and old timbers, and we like to think that there is never a better time than the long fall weekend that we gather to pretend that we can still play sports like we used to. This year I actually took a first-aid kit and we actually used it. There is much secrecy that surrounds such gatherings and I certainly won't divulge all of the details now, but I have prepared a little photo essay on boys' weekend. This really is the first look into what has previously been kept under tight wraps, so count yourselves lucky to see this...

The top of the lane, where we drank a couple beers waiting for Nick and his four wheel drive to transport us to the "Brier Patch".

The Brier Patch.

Trent on the banjo. Nate and Andrew taking it in.

First we had to mow down the ball field. Andy started us off.

Then we had to sit and drink some more beer.

This is an action shot of Neil hitting a real-live-whiffle-ball- home-run-but-it-depends-on-where-we-drew-the-line-I-guess.

We also played a very competitive game of frisbee golf, while the courageous Phil kept us stocked on beer. This is Nick looking pensively at Hole 7.

Andrew and his own personal style of throwing the disc. (Andrew also makes super cool t-shirts. You should check them out.)

Look how Michael and Phil cook so tenderly while wearing Carharts.

This is how sensitive cabin going men like us eat. (See me sleeping on the couch to the left? I was on breakfast duty.)

Nick enjoying himself. We did lots of this. Enjoying ourselves, not necessarily pointing.

Michael, Phil, and the sunset.

Michael, Nate, Trent.
Phil, Andy, Neil.
Nick, me, Andrew.

Beware Tucson bicyclists!!

2007-10-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

As of early this morning, there is a gang of motorcycle cops pulling over bicycle riders mostly along University Boulevard between Sixth Ave and Park Ave. SO BEWARE!! There have been heaps of bogus tickets given out by overly ambitious, blowhard cops who have decided to target bike riders. Spread the word and be more mindful of stopping and signaling and everything else. If you or someone else gets pulled over, there is a good bike lawyer, Erik Ryberg. He has an informational blog www.tucsonbikelawyer.com and his number is 520.622.3333. Personally, from my completely non-lawyerly position I would tell everyone to plead not-guilty and challenge all these tickets.

AND everyone should show up tonight, Tuesday, 8pm at Old Main for the community bike ride. The last few weeks there have been over 200 folks from all over Tucson riding together on a different route every Tuesday. ALSO, there will be a Tucson Critical Mass bike ride this Friday eve, at 6pm leaving from El Presidio Park, and then every last Friday of each month.

"A patriot must always be ready to defend his [sic] country from his [sic] government." - Edward Abbey

H2O.

2007-10-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

Didn't someone recently say that the next world war would be over water? I sure hope it doesn't get confused with this current war over oil...

Drought-Stricken South Facing Tough Choices (NY Times)...

Patagonia, Arizona.

2007-10-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend, Mari, Megan, and I went down to the Native Seeds farm in Patagonia, Arizona (south of Tucson near the Mexico border). It was the fall harvest "festival" which basically means that we are supposed to feel good about helping to harvest the corn and stomp the beans, and Native Seeds gets to feel good about us giving them free labor. But since Mari used to work there and my brother, Chris still does, we thought it would be nice to go down and spend the morning shucking corn and brushing ear wigs from our shoulders to be rewarded by an unknown quality of potluck lunch. Also, we happen to think that Native Seeds is a pretty vital organization in the face of mono-culture crops and genetically modified seeds with all sorts of craziness and undetermined dangers. On top of all of that, it was a perfect reason to squeeze into my beat-up, sometimes running, and always dirty pickup truck and take an hour long cruise south through the Sonoran Desert to a 60 acre farm with a perfect view of Mt. Wrightson in the Santa Rita mountain range. It was a good opportunity to give my brother a hard time and throw dried up, mice eaten, corn cobs at each other while talking about how we were clearly the best volunteers at the Native Seeds harvest festival.

The "indispensable" gator at the farm.

Seed collection system.

Post fetish #1.

A critical mass of gourds.

Post fetish #2, with Mt. Wrightson in the back left.

Here comes the praying mantis!

2007-10-13T07:58:00.001-07:00

This Praying Mantis was outside our kitchen door yesterday morning. I think it was after our compost bucket. Riley thought we should put it on Mari's pillow, which I think would have been confusing and painful for everyone involved in that endeavor, and without a doubt end oh so badly. Needless to say the Praying Mantis was left to its own shifty motions and unknown misadventures.

Famous chickens.

2007-10-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

Though it is hard to believe, some chickens are more popular than mine. But only for now, just you wait...

"The left column."

2007-10-10T23:46:00.000-07:00

I would like to draw your attention to the not-so-famous "left column" in this blog. There are three reasons really. The first is that my brother (among others) has told me that he has never clicked on a single link in the "left column." My own brother! It's hard out there for a blogger. The second reason is that I have recently re-worked some of the categories and added some interesting links. The last, and I am sure most crowd-pleasing-Chicken-Diction- enthusiast-exciting, is that I have finally gotten not only up to date with the egg laying exploits, but I have made a more standardized system for some of the naysayers and critics out there in the Tucson community...So damnit - take a look at the left column and learn yourselves a thing or two. Or just hear some random shit that I happen to chuckle at late at night when I am writing for this blog. Whatever, just look at the left column, it's worth it I promise.

A Guatemalan wooden chicken for your enjoyment.

Why my hens are not football fans...

2007-10-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

Sports fans...(Reuters)

(Cartoon brought to you by Toothpaste for Dinner.)

The Rincon Mountains.

2007-10-08T21:30:00.000-07:00

My friend John is going to be mad. I went without him to the mountains like we planned so many months ago. But I had to. When you have your sights set on a weekend in the woods, and the world seems to be going straight to hell everywhere you look, sometimes you just have to go even though your Philly friend couldn't make it. So I did. I spent the weekend in the Rincon Mountains with my brother and some friends and found a bit of calm that I was otherwise missing. And I came back to my chickens still laying eggs and my veggies getting taller. It was an amazing time high up in the mountains above the haze of Tucson and life. Ponderosa pines for cover, woodpecker alarm clocks, and rock outcropping views of horizons and stars. We saw red-tailed hawks, black bear footprints, and fields of manzanita. Here are some photos from the trip...

In color.

2007-10-08T20:43:00.001-07:00

Chris, Megan, Jonathan, and me at the top of Rincon Peak.
Elevation: 8,482 feet.

Prayer flags with our shirts.

The very very top of Rincon Peak.

Chris eating. He did a lot of this.

Megan wearing a real-life-non-hipster-wanna-be John Deere cap.

Jonathan looking European.
I don't know how he does it.

Jonathan and Sarah at Happy Valley Saddle.
Elevation: not quite sure.

Not as bubbly as you might think.

Chris.

The Perry Mason version.

2007-10-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

So many trees.

Beware the Yucca monster!

Rincon Peak.
Elevation: same as in color.

Cacti.

Whole lotta me.

Ghost.

Saturday night's lodgings.

Jonathan wanted me to tell you he took this picture.

This one too from atop Spud Rock.
Elevation: cold.

Heading out.

Long live the desert.

Going home.

My "go outside" rant.

2007-10-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hello Chicken Diction aficionados!

In response to a self-diagnosis of CEAD (current events affective disorder) I, along with some good friends, will be out in the wilds backpacking and breathing fresh air from mountain tops and beside ponderosa pine trees this weekend.

I tell you this for several reasons: 1. I don't want you to fret that I am not catching up on blogging as I often do over the weekends, 2. I am sure you will miss me, and 3. If you are sitting in front of a computer reading this, then you should do at least one of many things, none of which are continue sitting in front of a computer checking blogs. (Well perhaps you should read a bit farther in case you need some creative ideas...Here goes.)

Most importantly, GO OUTSIDE. I don't really care where you are. Though I personally have an extreme aversion to cold, I still am a firm believer that it is crucial for everyone to see without the aid of florescent lighting and breath non-filtered, bona-fide a-i-r. So go outside and breath. Play. Go for a run or just sit on your ass. Watch the birds fly south and imagine where they are going. Find a sidewalk and dig up a piece of it. Then plant something that has roots and water it in. Find a stream and throw rocks at the log on the other side. Wake up early and listen to the sounds that you only hear through your dreams as the light slowly warms the world. Walk somewhere instead of driving. Tell yourself that the extra time is the key to sanity. It is. Or ride a bike and take the long route, one you have never been on before, and see what you see. If you have to drive, drive OUT of the city, town, or boro in which you live and keep going until the skyline is not made by people. Go to the park, the square, or even your backyard. Get dusty for no reason, and muddy for fun. But whatever you do, please go outside. Stop reading this. For your sanity. For mine. Come back a better person, more calm, impassioned, less crabby, but less comfortable in a routine that keeps us forgetting to go outside and get dirty.

Now go goddammit, before it's too late.

So it won't go to hell so fast.

2007-10-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

(I know, I thought it was called Myanmar too.)

This about sums it up.

2007-10-03T10:59:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I think the world is going to hell.

The day in news - as I see it.

2007-09-26T10:54:00.001-07:00

Handcuffed kids steal US border agent car

MONTERREY, Mexico (Reuters) - Three Mexican minors detained in California on suspicion of smuggling drugs stole a U.S. Border Patrol car while still wearing handcuffs and drove it back across the border to Mexico...(oops)

Myanmar Buddhist monk stands before police

Ahmadinejad visits NYC and is treated as Bush should be

Navy to mask Coronado's swastika-shaped barracks

CORONADO, Calif., -- The U.S. Navy has decided to spend as much as $600,000 for landscaping and architectural modifications to obscure the fact that one its building complexes looks like a swastika from the air...(why not just stick with honesty?)

Sowing seeds.

2007-09-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

Sunday we planted three beds of vegetables for our winter garden. Everything from broccoli to kale to lettuce and carrots. I have high hopes for this planting for a couple of reasons. The first is that with the help of Chris, Megan, and Jonathan we dug two completely new veggie beds that are no longer under the looming shade of the large Chilean mesquite tree in my backyard (which incidentally is fabulous for the summer beds). Last year the veggies definitely suffered from too much shade and not enough warmth, so hopefully this will be the solution. Also, I was able to add some lush, dark beautiful compost to all these beds. Between the large amounts of food scraps, weeds, shredded documents from the office, and the occasional load of food scraps from the local co-op, not to mention the chickens own special fertilizer and their help digging around in the compost, this was by far the best concoction of natural, home-made compost I have ever been a part of.

Supposedly the seeds I planted on Sunday will grow into food that one day this fall and winter we will cook, fry, steam, and eat. I have seen this work before. I have been a part of it and even responsible for it, but I never cease to be awed at the magic that takes place under that dark warm soil, only to poke its head out and eventually make its way to my mouth. There is always a bit of a question mark hanging in the air after such acts of believing. And really in the end, there is so much that has nothing to do with me. Very strange indeed. But satisfying. Really damn satisfying. Especially when it works.

Rainy sunset from the porch last week.

Because it matters what people say on blogs.

2007-09-24T12:09:00.001-07:00

But it does matter what happens here.
Check this out too.

At least I don't have hyenas for pets.

2007-09-20T11:49:00.000-07:00

There are some friends of mine who think that having chickens in my backyard is strange. Seriously. Everything from blank stares to uncomfortable pauses followed by a "wow..." that trails off into some other discussion. The number of times I get asked "what do you have chickens for?" is quite astounding considering that each person in this country consumes 250 eggs per year(two eggs every third day) and 53 pounds of chicken (that's about a drumstick a day). Regardless of the (unenlightened) crazed looks I may sometimes receive from friends and acquaintances, nothing compares to this. ↓

This family in Syria keeps hyenas as pets. Now, I once spent the night on the Serengeti in Tanzania while studying there. Me and 26 other people were camped out in a circle, only to be woken to the most devilish cry from the depths of hell I have ever heard in my short three-decade life, coming from a full-grown smiling, big-eared animal seen above. I can't imagine waking up to that on a regular basis, and if my neighbors and friends knew just how terrible that sound was, they would be overwhelmingly thanking me for my choice of backyard chickens. But from now on when I get strange looks about raising chickens for eggs, compost, and entertainment, I will say, "well at least I don't have hyenas for pets." That'll make 'em think.

This saying will surely join "it's hotter than the inside of a live chicken!" in its place as a colloquial, well-read opinion on the general state of things. I now give it to the blogging world as but a small contribution to an ever growing sea of knowledge that helps us get through our day. You're welcome world.

I'm in love with this scene...

2007-09-19T08:28:00.001-07:00

It is no surprise to anyone that I am a helpless/hopeless romantic, but this is one of my most favorite new films (somehow Will Ferrel is endearing), and this scene and song has been stuck in my head for days. Now it will be stuck in yours. Enjoy.

One of these eggs is not like the other...

2007-09-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

In case you were wondering how we know which chicken gives which egg, here you can see the obvious difference between the darker Rhode Island Red (Hayduke) eggs and the lighter egg from the Buff Orpington (Cracker). The Araucanas (Sally, Maria Algo, and Al Carbon) have yet to start laying, and once they do they should have blue-ish green colored eggs. In any case, pretty soon we will be swimming in eggs (mmm...nice thought huh?) of all colors. And if you have never had the experience of walking out of your house each morning and finding eggs just waiting for you in the chicken house, then you should come visit and you too will able to make an omelette with the freshest of eggs and basil from our garden. It will be one of the most satisfying meals you can ever eat - until you do it again.